maisha wagwan mrembo!!! uko za wea now?

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Fifty fun things to do during an exam
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the

A man is caught sitting at a make-shift campfire by a forest ranger, and to the ranger's horror, the man is eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like
this:

JUDGE: 'Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?'

MAN: 'Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what happened.'

JUDGE: 'Proceed.'

MAN: 'I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle who lighted upon a tree stump to eat the fish.
I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened, but figured that since I killed it I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.'

JUDGE: 'The court will take a recess while I consider your testimony.'

(15 minutes goes by and the judge returns.)

JUDGE: 'Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn't intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.'

The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: 'If you don't mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?'

MAN: 'Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl.'

What do most people say afta sex?
*I luv u?wrng,
*I luvd it?wrng,
*Lets do it again?wrng,
*You are sweet?wrng,
*Lets get married?wrng....most just say, "WAPI SURUALI YANGU/ (where is my pant)??"
r u one of them?
hahaha!!

remember onyango???


Jeff Koinange; Folks, siiiit baaack! Its
only monday, and the bench, is
smoOking! LITERALLY, ON FIRE! On the
bench, is Onyango and i tell you, from
the horse's mouth, SIIIIT BAAACK!
Sooo, Onyango, describe yourself...
Onyango; orait. Am a luo man...halfcast
of a luo man and a luo woman...i look
at the world through my glasses...my
world is a galaxy tab, the ATM screen,
generously inched HDTV, smart phones
and cards, prado's windscreen, books
and my wife...i eat life with a big spoon,
served on a silver platter and salted
with iodized crystals...i take life simple
but operate complex components of
life, because cheap is expensive! My
nomenclature is Onyango, an alumni
of Alliance boys, Universities of Nairobi,
Oxford and Harvard. Am the most
illiterate in our family.
Jeff Koinange; wuooow! Kkkk, and you
dont say! What is your worth right
now?
Onyango; my rolex can purchase GBS
tv station, the change can support a
family of four for two days at this
hotel..the contents of my wallet can
support a presidential candidate's
campaign.
Jeff Koinange; critics might say you are
proud and arrogant. What do you have
for such people?
Onyango; am not proud or arrogant,
am just open and unsecretive.
Jeff Koinange; what a guest, what a
show, what a week its gonna be...we
are all Kenyan...
Onyango; all the rolex!

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up
;-) hahahaha

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your *** in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.